Monday, February 1, 2010

Lord Shiva visits Mumbai to meet Balasaheb Thackeray

(This is purely my imagination.I dont intend to hurt anyone.Its just an outburst of my hurt whenever I see Shiva Sena on rampage)

Lord Shiva is disturbed by the attack of his children who hail from North India but working in Mumbai.So he decides to go to Mumbai and set right things because he knows Mr.Bal Thackeray will only listen to him.So he started his journey from Mount Kailash and reaches Mumbai Railway station.
Shiva Sena worker:Are you Maharashtrian?Where are you coming from?
Lord Shiva:I am Shiva.I have come from Mount Kailash.
(Shiva sena worker does not realise that Lord Shiva has come)
Shiva Sena worker:Go back to your place.Mumbai is only for marathis.Get back in next train or else you will be attacked.
Lord Shiva:My son,please dont lose patience.I have come to meet your leader Balasaheb Thackeray.
Shiva Sena worker:What? you want to meet Bala saheb. Dont joke. Even we shiva sainiks never saw him for past 5 years.Please dont joke. Go back to Mount Kailash.
Lord Shiva:Ok you stop attacking innocent people.
Shiva Sena worker:You are talking too much.Where is Mount Kailash.Is it in North India.Immediately leave this place.
(Mr.Manohar Joshi, a Shiva Sena leader who is on visit to Mumbai railway station for protests appproaches Lord Shiva).
Manohar Joshi:Hey whats happening?
Shiva Sena Worker: Namasthae sir. its good that you have come. This person is talking bad about our party.
Manohar Joshi:What?Is he talking bad about our party?Even Amitabh Bhachan, Sachin Tendulkar, Amir Khan, Shahrukh Khan etc are scared about our leader.Hello, Who are you? Are you Marathi.If you are not Marathi, dont waste time.Go back to your place.
Lord Shiva: My son, I am Shiva and I have come from Mount Kailash.
(Mr.Manohar Joshi is taken aback. He immediately folds his hands and worships Lord Shiva)
Manohar Joshi:My Lord, what a gift for me. Thanks for appearing before me. I am your bhakta.Even our party is named after you.Please bless me.
(Mr.Manohar Joshi falls on feet of Lord Shiva)
Lord Shiva:Get up my son. My blessings are there with you.
Manohar Joshi:My Lord, what I can do for you?
Lord Shiva:My son, I want to meet Bal Thackeray.
Manohar Joshi:My Lord,i am a senior leader in Shiva Sena but I have not met him for past 3 years. What for do you want to meet Balsaheb?
Lord Shiva:My son, I am very much disturbed because you people are attacking my innocent children who have come from Bihar, UP.This is also their country.
(Manohar Joshi becomes agitated)
Manohar Joshi:My Lord, you are wrong.These North Indians have taken our jobs.Mumbai is only for Marathis.Because of these people, Marathis are not getting job. You please dont interfere in our affairs.
Lord Shiva:My son, Mumbai is a big city and its growing everyday. Everyone can get a job opportunity here. There are enough jobs in Mumbai for not only Marathis and Biharis, but for entire Indians.Moreover, these Biharis are poor people and are sweating day and night and earning their bread.Why Shiva Sainiks are attacking them. Please stop attacking.
Manohar Joshi:No my Lord,No. Its impossible.I wont listen to you.balasaheb will expel me from party if he knows that I am listening to these things.My Lord, please go back.
Lord Shiva:My son, I didnt expect this from you. You are a learned man. You even held the post of Speaker of Lok Sabha. When you were staying in Delhi as Speaker, if Delhi people would have told that Delhi is only for Delhiites and if they would have attacked you, how you would have felt.
Manohar Joshi:What are you saying? How can they say that Delhi is only for Delhiites?Delhi is the capital of our country.So only Parliament is in Delhi.Whether Delhiites built Parliament?Because Delhi is capital, and because I was speaker I stayed there.
Lord Shiva:My son, similarly Mumbai is the commercial capital of India and every Industry,every bank, every institution has set up its office in Mumbai and has added value to this city.So only poor people from all over the country are coming here in search of job. My children in Maharashtra who have learned IT, go and work in Bangalore and Chennai.If Kannadigas say, Bangalore is only for Kannadigas, and Tamilians say,Chennai is only for tamils,will you be happy? All are my children.Please understand.
Manohar Joshi:My Lord , please dont confuse me.I dont worry whether Bihari taxi drivers earn their bread in Mumbai or not.I will lose my bread if I think like you.My leader will remove me from party.My Lord,then how can i eat. Please Lord, dont confuse me.Please go back.
(Lord Shiva realises that there is no use in talking with Manohar Joshi.So he decides that meeting Balsaheb Thackeray is the only way to solve the crisis.)
Lord Shiva:Ok you take me to Bal Thackeray.I will make him understand.
Manohar Joshi:My Lord, I cant take you.No one is allowed.Let me do one thing.I will call him from my mobile and make him to talk to you.
(Mr.Manohar Joshi calls Balsaheb's landline.)
Mr.Bal Thackeray:Hello(In a rough tone)
Manohar Joshi:Namasthae saab. Your desciple Manohar talking.Sorry sorry for calling you.But its important and so only I called you.I am sorry.
Mr.Bal Thackeray: What happened?
Manohar Joshi: Lord Shiva has come to Mumbai all the way from Mount Kailash just to talk to you.
Mr.Bal Thackeray:Lord Shiva? Please please give him the phone immediately.
(Mr.Manohar Joshi hands over his mobile to Lord Shiva)
Lord Shiva:Hello. How are you my son?
Bal Thackeray: My Lord, My Lord, I am fine by the grace of you. I am so happy.Its a blessing of my life to talk to you.I am so happy.What can I do for you Lord.You just order and I will do it immediately.
(Lord Shiva is pleased)
Lord Shiva: I know that you will listen to me my son,for that reason I came from Mount Kailash. Please stop attacking my children from North India who are working in Mumbai.
(Balsaheb is taken aback)
Lord Shiva: My son, are you listening?
Bal Thackeray:Yes my Lord. I am listening.Please understand my situation.how can I stop telling Mumbai is only for Marathis. You know, already Shiva sena party is in very bad shape.We lost municipality, assembly and parliament elections.Mumbai for Marathis is the only hope for Shiva Sena now.Please understand my Lord.
Lord Shiva:My son, when Indians were attacked in Australia you told Australian cricket players if they come to India and play in IPL then they will be attacked.But you are also doing like Australians. You are attacking North Indians in Mumbai.
Bal Thackeray:I know my Lord.But its politics and we have to survive.
Lord Shiva:My son, why cant you do some CONSTRUCTIVE things for the people.
Bal Thackeray:My lord, even in CONSTRUCTION industry, all these north indians are working and so no jobs are there for Marathis.
Lord Shiva:My son, i told work CONSTRUCTIVELY and win elections.
Bal Thackeray:My Lord, we Shiva Sainiks dont know anything constructive or else we would have done it without you telling us. We can dig roads, pour tar in cricket pitch, break taxis, attack taxi drivers,attack cinema halls etc. Even if I stop,my nephew Raj Thackeray who has floated MNS party will do these destructive things and will take away my party workers who know only destructive things.Please understand Lord.
(Lord Shiva gets irritated.)
Lord Shiva: Bal Thackeray, stop these things.Because of your nuisance activities marathis are not supporting you these days.
(Bal Thackeray becomes agitated)
Bal Thackeray:Yes we lost elections. So what? Let Marathis not support me.I dont mind.Atleast my party workers who do not know any work other than destructive activities will be with me.If i stop, then my party workers will defect to Raj Thackeray's MNS party.You stop advising me.Please go back to Mount Kailash.
Lord Shiva:You forgot that your party is named after me. I will call press conference and tell that Shiva Sena is not listening to Shiva.
(Bal Thackeray is taken aback and agitated)
Bal Thackeray:What?Will you tell press. Go and tell.Media houses are scared about me and they cant write against me. Anyhow I will call them and tell a lie that 'Shiva' Sena was named after Shivaji and not Lord Shiva. I will also lie to them that we removed 'ji' in 'Shivaji' because 'ji' is a north indian hindi word.You are forgetting that I am a Politician.Ha ha ha.
Lord Shiva:You are agonising me.
Bal Thackeray: Go back to Mount Kailash.You are Chinese not even Indian. So dont advise me about not attacking North Indians. You go and advise Beijing Government of not attacking Dalai Lama.You dont interfere in India.
Lord Shiva: What?Am I Chinese?Have you forgotten that I am God of your vedas.
Bal Thackeray:My Lord, Mount Kailash is in Tibet which is part of China and not India.If you interfere in my affair then Shiva Sena will go to any extent.I will call you Chinese.I will even order my shiva sainik workers to pour tar in all your temples.Please dont interfere.Go back to Mount Kailash.
( Lord Shiva goes back to Mount Kailash with heavy heart).

10 comments:

  1. Simply superb. You have analysed the entire issue in a nutshell from totally different angle.

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  2. It is hilarious yet thought provoking. Yes The whole issue is solely politically motivated,which has indeed left many marathis embarrassed. It is really a pity to see our so called politicians,leadres fighting for such silly things to induce the feeling of regionalism and diversity among ppl of India,when we actually need to stay united and fight against many bigger problems which is tearing up our country already.

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  3. You are absolutely right. We are divided when we are supposed to be united and fight against bigger issues.We have to blame ourselves not politicians.It is their survival strategy and they are doing it.We should blame ourselves for getting carried away by these leaders and fight on silly issues.

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  4. Nice , exposes the reality and salute for cornering wild lion

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  5. I am sitting in Chennai far away from Mumbai unlike Sachin,Amitabh Bachan, SRK and Amir Khan.

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  6. Really a nice post;keep up the good work

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  7. Good creativity! I liked it.Though humorous but you have reflected to what extent human being has come down for power and since we get to hear these issues every now and then most of us dont even realise that. Really nice.Keep writing expecting more from you.

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  8. Superb sir ..u have very good witty sense

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